2009: Serious Changes

A Quick Rewind through the Last 12 Months

December: Christmas in Michigan, of course. Spent two days with Grandmother, making old 8mm films and 35mm slides into digital images that can be shared with the grand and great-grand kids. Never could have made it through all the slides, so we focused on 1979 (the year Grandpa died) and earlier. Left Michigan desperately wanting a child that can get to know his/her grandparents and great grand mother (only one left) before it's too late. The (many, many) pictures of my brother with Grandpa make me sad, not because he got them, but because I didn't. I only know him through pictures. My children need to know my father through experience, not pictures.

Earlier this month, we had to redo the floor in the bedroom. Tore out the carpet, put in wood laminate. A way to fight the fur and dander and litter of so many pets, made necessary by the cats' destruction of one corner of it. We can hopefully keep it much cleaner now.

First term of student teaching wrapped up mostly successfully. Taught a chemistry unit and discovered many things about myself and my teaching. Room for growth!

November: Hosted a successful Thanksgiving with Dylan's family. It took weeks of planning and discussion with multiple therapists, but we did it. And came out of it happy, relaxed, and ready to take on more family-based challenges. We also did something I've always wanted to do: hiking through the snow to cut down our own Christmas tree.

October: Buried in work and school work. And 2 therapy sessions a week. A month of serious rebuilding of a relationship that has suffered a lot over the summer. Busy, but important. And worth every stressed out moment.

Rowed in the Row for the Cure in Portland, and got to spend a good relaxing weekend with Dylan to do it.

September: Little Big Town! Concert during Labor Day Weekend. Wonderful! Dylan and his mom cleaned out the garage, and the car finally made it in (for the first time in months!) Then, lots of therapy. And anti-anxiety drugs. Changes that needed to happen.

August: Family Reunion in Yahats. Mom came out early and helped me make my own canned chili sauce and pickle relish. It was a great passing-of-the-torch kind of week.

Bought my first new car! Totally can't afford it (did I mention the graduate school?) but, as Dad told me when I asked his advice, the pride I feel when I drive it makes me want to work hard enough to earn it. Which is a big step up from how I felt driving the CRV all the time. Plus, Cash for Clunkers means we got rid of a piece of junk and got a hybrid. Yay.

Reached a breaking point in my marriage. And recovered. This is why I like looking backwards through the year, not beginning to end. It's good to remember, first, that we recovered and had wonderful holidays and regular days together in the past few months, before remembering how bad it had to get first. It sucked. We recovered.

Drove a friend down to the Bay Area to do some window-shopping for their nursery. Enjoyed every minute, especially seeing how happy it made her to watch the nursery (and the baby) that much more real to her.

Dylan started treatment for a potential lupis diagnosis. And started feeling better.

July: Summer camps at the museum were awesome. Did fun things. Watched Dylan suffer as his sore arms got worse, as worker's comp jerked him around on treatment, and he lost energy and motivation for everything. Wanted to do more, did almost nothing. Days passed in repetition and boredom.

June: Started rowing with the Ashland Rowing Club. Starting 2 or 3 days a week on the lake quickly became a routine that was vital to my well-being. Very glad I finally made that step.

Took a 2-week class in Herpetology that was all field-based. 8 days driving around the state and catching frogs and lizards and avoiding scorpions and snakes (yes, I was supposed to catch those too, managed to avoid them!). Loved EVERY minute of it. Even the learning how to pee in the woods.

Found out a very good friend is pregnant. Began the search for anti-anxiety drugs to treat my irrational reaction to that news (and, of course, all the other symptoms that made that treatment necessary).

May: What did I do in May? Ugh. Nothing. Wrapped up a year of the inquiry program at the museum, and worked, desperately (and unsuccessfully) to secure funding for the next year. (ps we got a grant in August that saved the program).

April: Work. All work, all the time. Took a few classes too. But, mostly, drove a lot, taught a lot, was in the office a lot.

March: Dziadzia decided that 10 months without Busia was too long, and with a smile on his face, with his three children looking on, fell asleep for the last time. It also marked my 7th trip to Michigan in less than a year.

Taught a spring break camp at the museum too. Kept me busy, and working too much.

January and February: It was all about work. I can't even believe, as I go through this, how much I worked last year, and how it was the only thing that seemed to matter to me. No wonder things fell apart in the summer.

Sarah F. got married, and I got to be there. The museum got a(nother) new director. But the only things I remember are lots of driving through the snow to KFalls to teach, and lots of teaching.

This year: Do things with Dylan that are more important than work. Do nothing half-way. Build a family. That's it. Big, simple goals