An Increasingly Difficult Question

"Where are you from?"

It seems simple.  It's a question people ask all the time.  But, how do you usually answer it?

I used to say, "Originally, Michigan.  But the last five years have been in Southern Oregon."

That was when it was clear why people were asking.  They knew I was from out of town, usually from some contextual clues (like saying, "oh, we're just visiting"), and wanted to know from where I was visiting.

Now, though, I over-think it.  It's clear I'm not from around here - no Australian accent!  They may even be guessing I'm from the States.  So, do they just want to have that confirmed?  "I'm from the States."  How much do they know about the US?  The names of the big cities, probably, so if I was from Los Angeles or Detroit or New York, I could say those.  But if I say, "Michigan" or "Oregon" do they even know where that is?¹  How do I explain where I'm from to someone who likely doesn't know much about the US?

Also, I'm not sure where I'm "from" any more.  I will always be from Michigan.  There's no denying that part of my heritage, and the fact that's where the family flocks to for holidays.  Break it down, though, and I lived in Michigan for 18 years, California for 7 years, and Oregon for 6 years.  It won't be long before my years outside of MI will outnumber my years there.  If we hadn't joined the traveling circus, we'd still be in Oregon - in the home we own there.   Oregon is where my daughter was born, where we own a home, and where we claim we'll still be when we retire because we love the mountains and the people and everything else about it.  So, my usual response of, "Originally, Michigan, but more recently, Oregon," is still most appropriate...  if someone is asking why my accent isn't Australian.

But, there are times when I feel like people aren't asking the question because they want to know where I was born or where I own a house, they're really just using this universal question to open a conversation.  When I'm at a playground with Kaylee and chatting with other moms, the question usually comes up, but I always feel like it's more because they want to know what brings me here then where I'm from.  Then the answer changes.  "We're from the States, but we move around a lot because we're with Cirque du Soleil."

When you ask the question, do you do it because you're honestly interested in where they were born?  What place they associate with "home"?  Or do you ask when you're trying to start a conversation and it seems like a simple place to start?  I don't ask the question, usually, because if I asked a local Australian and they named even a suburb near the city we're in, it wouldn't tell me anything about them because I don't know anything about the local area.  What better questions are there for starting a conversation, or getting to know more about someone?


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1 I finally understand why anyone from anywhere near Detroit's suburbs would just answer, "Detroit" when asked.  It's easier than trying to explain where Grosse Pointe or similar cities are to non-Michiganians.